I discovered The Alpha’s Human Surrogate by Nina GoGo on the Goodnovel app when I was offered some books to read for free within 24 hours. Of all the stories I was offered, I chose this one because the blurb was the one written in the best English … which should tell you something about the rest, lol!
The blurb says this:
“Now, let’s discuss sexual experience,” he says, his tone matter-of-fact. “It’s essential for me to understand your level of comfort and any potential concerns in that aspect.”
I feel my cheeks flush, the topic leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable. I take a moment to gather my thoughts before responding honestly, “I… I have not had previous experiences, but I am willing to learn. And… and I can assure you that I am absolutely clean.”
Alexander’s gaze softens, and he almost seems surprised. But he eventually gives a soft laugh as he says, “I understand. Moreover, you still need to go through some tests to ensure that it is a smooth process.”
***********************
Hi, I’m Sophia, an ordinary college student. I have a happy family and two handsome roommates, but because of an accident, I had to secretly become a surrogate mother in order to pay for my father’s enormous medical expenses. What I don’t know is that the intended father, a polite and distinguished 34-year-old man, is the most influential and mysterious figure in the city. And what is beyond my control is when I give birth, I’m shocked to discover that my twin babies have wolf ears!
Note: I formatted it for readability. The original blurb is just one loooooong paragraph.
As the story begins I marvel at how little I would have to edit if I was her copy editor. There were still hiccups, but I anticipated that and could forgive it so long as the author does not make huge, repetitive errors like mixing up genders, tenses, figures of speech. It was going fine until I saw BIG holes in her writing that are usually an indication of inattention …
She does not keep track of her characters!
I’ve mentioned this before, I have a cinematic brain. This means that when I read I see the scene unfold in my head. So you can imagine my confusion when characters seemingly teleport from one location to the next and back. She also seems to take for granted how time works. In addition, she forgets what she said before about her characters.
- It takes several weeks for her to manifest pregnancy symptoms.
- A few weeks into gestation she can feel the baby kick.
- Alexander never enlightened Sophia that he was a werewolf and didn’t prepare her for giving birth 4 months from conception.
- The children are 1 year old and are already bigger than toddlers as they are walking and talking like 5 year olds.
- Alexander starts off a rich man in a luxury sedan who lives in a mansion to being some rich guy living in a corporate estate to again living in a mansion.
- Jake and Tyler are described as platonic guy friends who occasionally bring home their dates (and are at it all night) to suddenly having feelings for Sophia.
Author, make up your mind! And keep track of your story!
As an editor, let me tell you, those holes are difficult to plug as it means a rewrite. But as a reader, if I am in a forgiving mood, I can still enjoy it and just laugh at the author’s faux pas. I just pretend to myself that Alexander is actually Nightcrawler or maybe knows astral projection. 😛
I’ve read around 27 chapters already and I don’t even know if I want to call this book a romance, although it is. The romance aspect is very subtle but is implied. I have yet to encounter any steam but, who knows, maybe there will be some later in the book.
If you think this is a story you could get into or would like to try, The Alpha’s Human Surrogate by Nina GoGo is available on the Goodnovel app.
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