I discovered Bullied Mate of the Lycan Kings by Deenma on Dreame while looking for something new to read. I didn’t see the preview blurb on the app, just the first chapter, and it was an intriguing start.
Everyone in school hated Lily, a wolfless Omega, because of her father, who was executed for being a traitor. Despite that, she has always been a good student and mostly kept her head down and tried her best to ignore everyone’s bullying. One day she just reached her breaking point and tried to take her own life by slashing her wrists. She would have become successful, too, if not for Cade.
Cade became her only friend and later her boyfriend. When asked why he saved her he told her that they are mates. But things are not as they seem as it turns out, he was playing a long game and plotted with his friends to pull the ultimate prank on her which ended with a rejection.
In despair, she pulls out of school and decides on homeschooling. A couple of years later she enters Shadow Cove Academy, an elite school in hopes of graduating with flying colors so that she could enter an ivy league school after and improve her and her mom’s lives. It is there that she meets the three most powerful Lycan Alphas … Aiden, Ren, and Zac.
On her first day, she accidentally bumps into Aiden … that was all he needed to green-light the bullying from everyone on campus. She also meets Ren who becomes her guardian angel. Then there’s Zac who has a deep dark secret only a few people are aware of. She finds herself strongly attracted to Ren but unfortunately, he has a mate, Mauve. As the book progresses her only friends are Ren, Rhea, and Chelsea.
The title and the blurb imply that this is a reverse harem. It also shows 4 males. However, 68 chapters in and there are no signs that the story is going anywhere in that direction. Also, if I had read the blurb first (which I only saw a few minutes ago when I visited Dreame from the computer) I probably would not have opened this so soon as it is way too graphic for me for a blurb. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for steamy scenes per se, but I think the build-up to those scenes matters.
That aside, many parts of the story are quite compelling. I confess I found chapters 65 to 68 difficult to read because I don’t like seeing Ren suffering or in pain. I only wish that the story moved a little faster so that we could see how Aiden, Ren, Zac, and I assume Cade, find themselves mated to Lily which will lead to the contents of the blurb.
If you think this is something you might want to sink your teeth into you can check out Bullied Mate of the Lycan Kings by Deenma on the Dreame app.
You can add Mated to the Bully Stepbrothers by Qeemahhh (aka Enitan Abdulazeez) to the list of books that don’t make a lot of sense. From the title alone I automatically assumed this is a shifter romance since “mates” were mentioned. However, aside from the mention of Arielle being an Omega, her wolf’s name being Talia (in the first two chapters), the “mates” thing, and the reference to quicker healing, there is no other indicator that any of the characters are werewolves at all. That could have been taken out completely and made them all human and it would not have affected the story. They don’t even have a mind link which is common lore for werewolf stories with characters that are related or part of the same pack.
Just for context, this is the (unedited) blurb of the book, for your reference:
She has spent most of her life at the expense of others, bullied at school, working shifts and also tons of suffering but Arielle did not mind. Arielle has believed that clocking 18 would be the game-changer for her because she’ll find her mate and live an exotic life. Before her parents left her and her sister to the cruel world, a witch has told them she’ll be mated to a powerful creature and she’ll live a good life. What Arielle didn’t expect was to be mated to the three sons of the alpha of the pack, and also step brothers.
Would Arielle get the beautiful life she has always wanted or would it be a series of new torture? Would she be able to bring the three creatures together?
What would happen when the brothers learn that Arielle is not a normal omega and possesses a strong power? Will the power take either Arielle or the three brothers? Find out in this thrilling story.
The story begins with Arielle living in a hovel with rats eating her food as she doesn’t even have a fridge and her sister working for the Luna. The story even goes on to say that her sister lives at the packhouse and has no things at her place as she lives alone. Then as soon as the story introduces Derek, Enzo, and Aiden as her mates, she suddenly lives in a low-cost apartment complete with appliances and furnishings. She still wears “rags” but now she doesn’t live in a hovel.
Second point, the title says that the men are “stepbrothers” however they indicate that they have the same dad but different moms … that makes them half-brothers since they are all still related by blood. We don’t know if they belong to the same pack Arielle does. We don’t know if they are ranked wolves. What we do know is that they are wealthy.
Third, the book cover says “her” instead of “the” but Arielle is an orphan so they could not be her step anything.
Fourth, I have read up to chapter 40 now (yes, 40!) and she is bullied in every chapter by everyone except her sister. I think everyone is aware that bullying is bad, right? So how is it acceptable as a romance story arc for the main character to be bullied for (so far) the whole story, including by her supposed mates? We’re not even talking about just verbal abuse. Arielle is abused verbally, physically, psychologically, AND cyberbullied. Yes, her so-called “mates” are part of that whole twisted party. They don’t even want people to know that they are mates. She is their dirty little secret … nothing more than a sex slave.
Fifth, they just mark her (as in just bit her neck with no warning) on the day they discover they are mates at her apartment. She never marks them back.
Sixth, it takes the brothers more than 30 chapters to realize what douchebags they are, and then with the flip of a switch, they are suddenly nice to her, protective, and declaring to everyone that she is their mate. JUST. LIKE. THAT. No epiphany, no transitionary paragraphs, they are just suddenly nice. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!
Don’t even get me started on the grammar and word usage! For example, every time the says “phantom” she actually means fathom. In an effort to self-edit, some words have asterisks in place of letters. That’s fine and all if it made sense. For example, if she says “c–k” when referring to the male genitalia, that makes sense. But when she says “c–ked” referring to “tilting the head” then the asterisks are just ridiculous! There are so much more but those are the ones that stood out the most as I was reading. Note: I’ve replaced the * with – for this post because the page is not translating the way I want it to.
To be honest, I don’t even know why Arielle is still alive. I also don’t understand how the entire school bullies her and no person of authority has a clue. With everything that has happened to Arielle, I would have had her murdered or committing suicide (by jumping off a cliff or drowning in the river, for example) much earlier in the book where (assuming this is still a shifter story) the Moon Goddess intercedes, gives her a second chance at life somewhere else or as somewhere else. I would LOVE for this to be a rebirth story, rather than spending so much time on the bullying.
If the author really wants her to end up with the three, there has to be something that triggers the change in them, and we should see it. At the moment, I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. They tricked her like that before, humiliating her in front of everyone, what is to stop them from doing it again? I think the author needs to figure out what she really wants to happen and where this story is supposed to go because right now it just seems like she enjoys making Arielle suffer. Is there such a thing as fictional character bullying?
If you are curious and want to check out Mated to the Bully Stepbrothers by Qeemahhh (aka Enitan Abdulazeez) for yourself to form your own opinion you can find it on Dreame. It is an ongoing story so who knows where the story will go.
I am trying really hard to appreciate Bullied By My Alpha Stepbrother by Joy Apens. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I hate bullies and bullying in any form but I gave this story a shot because I was curious to see how the author would develop the romance between the lead characters.
Having read so many bully romances I was prepared for the male lead, Hardin, to be Jasmine’s bully. What I didn’t anticipate was how many times he sexually assaulted her. I’m sorry, is this supposed to be okay? We are just supposed to accept that since Hardin and Jasmine are the lead characters no matter what happens it is okay because they may end up together.
Pardon me, but there is nothing right about sexual assault, whether it is something as “minimal” as fondling or all the way to penetration. IT IS NOT OKAY.
As a story arc and trigger, I get it, especially at the beginning when they don’t know each other and Hardin is still horribly bitter. But 25 chapters in and it is still happening? And Jasmine is still not reporting it? How is this right? Like most prolific readers I immerse myself in the story and embed myself in the character. This means that I put myself in Jasmine’s persona and I am not okay with being violated repeatedly.
He called her a slut, whore, etc., took her virginity, and all she can do EVER is cry. SIGH. Victim mentality.
I know at some point in the future we will see a change of heart with Hardin and he will somehow fall for her. At some point, it will probably be revealed that they are mates. Fyi, at the part I’m at there isn’t any sign so I don’t even know if the author will allow for fated mates or if this is a human-like romance in a werewolf romance setting.
At the moment, I don’t ever want them to be together. I want Jasmine to end up with Lorenzo. In her shoes, I would never forgive someone who has done what he has been doing. It doesn’t matter if her body responds. If the girl you are with is saying NO and crying the entire time (even if she is supposedly wet) that means her mind does not agree. It is still rape.
IT IS NOT OKAY. If you are curious and want to weigh in, you can find Bullied By My Alpha Stepbrother by Joy Apenson several reading apps including Goodnovel, where I found it.
I finally caught up to the latest chapter (Chapter 37 as of this update). It is her birthday and, what does Hardin do? He rapes her. SERIOUSLY?!? And this is a romance novel? Even if it categorized as a dark romance I think there has to be a cap on how much abuse a girl can take.
My Best Friend’s Triplet Brothers by Rebel Bloom is the story of a girl who gets reunited with her childhood tormentors at her best friend’s wedding. It couldn’t be helped since the triplets are her best friend’s brothers. Warren, Lucas, and Andrew Stickland are gorgeous and single and definitely off-limits! That wasn’t a casual mandate … the bride outright said it, too!
So what happens when Sara accidentally walks in on Warren in the shower in all his glory? Obviously, sanity flew out the window and passion took over.
Personally, no matter how hot these guys are, I can’t see how she could so easily spread her legs for her bullies. As the story progresses and they get reacquainted and catch up on each other’s lives it is easy to see the unusual relationship between the four of them developing but at the back of my mind I’m still thinking … they’re your bullies.
It actually takes many, many chapters for that issue to be addressed and for the triplets to explain why they did what they did when they were kids. Personally, their explanation on the one hand seems sweet but mostly I was angry for Sara because they ruined her childhood. She was a pariah because of them. How is that a good thing and so easily forgiven?
If you are looking for a good sex romp with hot triplets this is a good book to read. If you are willing to overlook their callousness and cruelty growing up and accept Warren, Lucas, and Andrew for the gentlemen they are now then read this book.
I had difficulty being okay with their bullying but I’m not Sara. I don’t know if I could let bygones be bygones just because they’re good in bed and don’t mind sharing.
My Best Friend’s Triplet Brothers by Rebel Bloom is available on Amazon for 2.99 and is free with Kindle Unlimited.
Stories like The Wallflower and the Alpha’s by Addison Winters annoy me because it has a lot of potential but the author is lazy, inattentive, and uncaring. Let me list down the reasons why this author gets my goat.
Massive proofreading/editing issues
She does not edit her work or get a proofreader or editor to help her make her story better.
She can’t make up her mind if she is “speaking” in the first or third person.
She messes up her pronouns. Male pronouns are him, he, and his. Female pronouns are her, she, and hers.
She messes up her tenses.
She can’t keep track of her POV.
She does not know how to use figures of speech correctly. She just uses them because she feels like it whether they are appropriate or not. Research first!
An apostrophe is used to denote ownership, so the title of the book should be “The Wallflower and the Alphas” not “The Wallflower and the Alpha’s” which is the actual title. It is so wrong that my spellchecker keeps telling me to fix it.
Now, for those of you who have been reading my reviews, you know that I tend to be forgiving with spelling and grammar IF the story is good enough. What gets my goat is grammar and spellcheck are FREE! Word has it, GoogleDocs has it … there are even free apps available! Use any of them!
She doesn’t pay attention
And, like I said, this story has potential but needs a MAJOR REVAMP to be worth selling on Amazon (for 4.99 a pop!) and on Goodnovel for almost 3.5k coins. Other things this (I assume YOUNG) author needs to do:
Know your proportions … two halves make a whole. Avery can’t be half-wolf, half-witch, and half-Veela … that is one “half” more than a whole person. To be precise you should have said PART wolf, witch, and Veela.
Don’t get lost in the minutiae. We don’t need to know her entire “getting ready for school” routine from how she washes her hair, what body scrub he uses and why, applies makeup, applies deodorant and perfume, dries her hair, fixes her hair, walks naked to her room, chooses underwear, chooses clothes to wear, puts them on … and so on and so on. It’s unnecessary unless you were just after the word count.
Keep track of where you are in the story! If you are confused, we are confused! Avery comes out of the shower of her ensuite in a towel, then Elijah and Jake come in and make out with her on the bed but she is suddenly in a dress. Then Avery is in a shed with Andrew (whoever that is) and walks away to go to the house then suddenly she is dry humping Elijah. What in the world?!? Make up your mind, are her clothes on or off? At one point she takes off her dress, and she is wearing it again, then you have her in a towel, then in a dress again.
In love scenes, keep track of where everyone is … some of the positions you have them in is just not possible unless your participants are snakes or contortionists.
Be aware of where your characters are supposed to be physically and mentally. You cannot have Avery scared of them one moment then suddenly okay with them eating her out at the back of the truck, and then scared to let them near her again wondering why they are looking at her “like that”.
At the point where Elijah acknowledges that she is his mate and decides to win her over … why, oh, why are you still making him bully her? WTF is the logic in that? He just said he was going to stop doing that and would try to win her over then he trips her and embarrasses her in front of the entire school?!? Does that sound logical to you?
A very easy solution is to reread what you have written before writing the next chapter and then going from there.
Freytag’s pyramid
This is one of the reasons I felt the need to post about Freytag’s pyramid on my socials a while back. Anyone who wants to venture into writing with the intention of possibly making money out of it should care enough to make sure their audience enjoys the experience and to do that there has to be structure.
I am not ruling out non-linear storytelling. Non-linear can be fun! Case in point, Pulp Fiction … one of my favorite Quentin Tarantino movies. But even with non-linear stories, it still makes an effort to hit all the stars.
Bullying
I am not a fan of bully romances, although I have read a few. I try to keep an open mind and endeavor to understand the psyche of the characters to see why they are the way they are. Here are my thoughts:
If the bully is an Alpha then he will not make a good alpha at all because he should be taking care of his pack members not making victims of them.
Make her do his homework? OMG! So pathetic! Elijah is not just lazy, he is also stupid! And this is supposed to be their Alpha? I’d transfer to another pack.
Big, burly boys stringing girls up a flagpole? Seriously? And everyone is just watching? How sick are the people in this school that they can just condone that? And where the fuck are the adults? What, not even a janitor in sight? Unbelievable!
Avery’s mates bullied her for AT LEAST SIX YEARS which included physical, mental, and verbal abuse. Now that they all know that they are her mates they expect Avery to just forgive them … let bygones be bygones … because they will spend the rest of their lives making it up to her? Why did they pick on her in the first place? What did she do to them? NOTHING!
Ugh! I’m getting angry. I HATE BULLIES. And, honestly, considering how long they have been bullying her she should have either rejected them or at the very least made it more difficult for them to win her over. Her having a crush on them all this time DESPITE their bullying her leads me to think Avery seriously needs psychiatric help. I wish I could say it is masochism but, unfortunately, based on the author, she is always devastated and in tears when they bully her … so, why?!?
If you want to give this book a chance because there is actually a good story under all the junk you can find it on Goodnovel and other reading apps. If you want to “save money” and buy the book on Amazon, be warned that it comes in four parts at 4.99 each. The advantage of reading it on Amazon is you can return the book and ask for a refund. But you can only do that within a short period so read fast and if you love it, keep it. Otherwise, return it.
Everyone in school hated Lily, a wolfless Omega, because of her father, who was executed for being a traitor. Despite that, she has always been a good student and mostly kept her head down and tried her best to ignore everyone’s bullying. One day she just reached her breaking point and tried to take her own life by slashing her wrists. She would have become successful, too, if not for Cade.
Just for context, this is the (unedited) blurb of the book, for your reference:
I am trying really hard to appreciate Bullied By My Alpha Stepbrother by Joy Apens. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I hate bullies and bullying in any form but I gave this story a shot because I was curious to see how the author would develop the romance between the lead characters.
My Best Friend’s Triplet Brothers by Rebel Bloom is the story of a girl who gets reunited with her childhood tormentors at her best friend’s wedding. It couldn’t be helped since the triplets are her best friend’s brothers. Warren, Lucas, and Andrew Stickland are gorgeous and single and definitely off-limits! That wasn’t a casual mandate … the bride outright said it, too!
She does not edit her work or get a proofreader or editor to help her make her story better.
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