by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 9, 2022 | Book Reviews
Stories like The Wallflower and the Alpha’s by Addison Winters annoy me because it has a lot of potential but the author is lazy, inattentive, and uncaring. Let me list down the reasons why this author gets my goat.
Massive proofreading/editing issues
She does not edit her work or get a proofreader or editor to help her make her story better.
- She can’t make up her mind if she is “speaking” in the first or third person.
- She messes up her pronouns. Male pronouns are him, he, and his. Female pronouns are her, she, and hers.
- She messes up her tenses.
- She can’t keep track of her POV.
- She does not know how to use figures of speech correctly. She just uses them because she feels like it whether they are appropriate or not. Research first!
- An apostrophe is used to denote ownership, so the title of the book should be “The Wallflower and the Alphas” not “The Wallflower and the Alpha’s” which is the actual title. It is so wrong that my spellchecker keeps telling me to fix it.
Now, for those of you who have been reading my reviews, you know that I tend to be forgiving with spelling and grammar IF the story is good enough. What gets my goat is grammar and spellcheck are FREE! Word has it, GoogleDocs has it … there are even free apps available! Use any of them!
She doesn’t pay attention
And, like I said, this story has potential but needs a MAJOR REVAMP to be worth selling on Amazon (for 4.99 a pop!) and on Goodnovel for almost 3.5k coins. Other things this (I assume YOUNG) author needs to do:
- Know your proportions … two halves make a whole. Avery can’t be half-wolf, half-witch, and half-Veela … that is one “half” more than a whole person. To be precise you should have said PART wolf, witch, and Veela.
- Don’t get lost in the minutiae. We don’t need to know her entire “getting ready for school” routine from how she washes her hair, what body scrub he uses and why, applies makeup, applies deodorant and perfume, dries her hair, fixes her hair, walks naked to her room, chooses underwear, chooses clothes to wear, puts them on … and so on and so on. It’s unnecessary unless you were just after the word count.
- Keep track of where you are in the story! If you are confused, we are confused! Avery comes out of the shower of her ensuite in a towel, then Elijah and Jake come in and make out with her on the bed but she is suddenly in a dress. Then Avery is in a shed with Andrew (whoever that is) and walks away to go to the house then suddenly she is dry humping Elijah. What in the world?!? Make up your mind, are her clothes on or off? At one point she takes off her dress, and she is wearing it again, then you have her in a towel, then in a dress again.
- In love scenes, keep track of where everyone is … some of the positions you have them in is just not possible unless your participants are snakes or contortionists.
- Be aware of where your characters are supposed to be physically and mentally. You cannot have Avery scared of them one moment then suddenly okay with them eating her out at the back of the truck, and then scared to let them near her again wondering why they are looking at her “like that”.
- At the point where Elijah acknowledges that she is his mate and decides to win her over … why, oh, why are you still making him bully her? WTF is the logic in that? He just said he was going to stop doing that and would try to win her over then he trips her and embarrasses her in front of the entire school?!? Does that sound logical to you?
A very easy solution is to reread what you have written before writing the next chapter and then going from there.
Freytag’s pyramid
This is one of the reasons I felt the need to post about Freytag’s pyramid on my socials a while back. Anyone who wants to venture into writing with the intention of possibly making money out of it should care enough to make sure their audience enjoys the experience and to do that there has to be structure.
I am not ruling out non-linear storytelling. Non-linear can be fun! Case in point, Pulp Fiction … one of my favorite Quentin Tarantino movies. But even with non-linear stories, it still makes an effort to hit all the stars.
Bullying
I am not a fan of bully romances, although I have read a few. I try to keep an open mind and endeavor to understand the psyche of the characters to see why they are the way they are. Here are my thoughts:
- If the bully is an Alpha then he will not make a good alpha at all because he should be taking care of his pack members not making victims of them.
- Make her do his homework? OMG! So pathetic! Elijah is not just lazy, he is also stupid! And this is supposed to be their Alpha? I’d transfer to another pack.
- Big, burly boys stringing girls up a flagpole? Seriously? And everyone is just watching? How sick are the people in this school that they can just condone that? And where the fuck are the adults? What, not even a janitor in sight? Unbelievable!
- Avery’s mates bullied her for AT LEAST SIX YEARS which included physical, mental, and verbal abuse. Now that they all know that they are her mates they expect Avery to just forgive them … let bygones be bygones … because they will spend the rest of their lives making it up to her? Why did they pick on her in the first place? What did she do to them? NOTHING!
Ugh! I’m getting angry. I HATE BULLIES. And, honestly, considering how long they have been bullying her she should have either rejected them or at the very least made it more difficult for them to win her over. Her having a crush on them all this time DESPITE their bullying her leads me to think Avery seriously needs psychiatric help. I wish I could say it is masochism but, unfortunately, based on the author, she is always devastated and in tears when they bully her … so, why?!?
If you want to give this book a chance because there is actually a good story under all the junk you can find it on Goodnovel and other reading apps. If you want to “save money” and buy the book on Amazon, be warned that it comes in four parts at 4.99 each. The advantage of reading it on Amazon is you can return the book and ask for a refund. But you can only do that within a short period so read fast and if you love it, keep it. Otherwise, return it.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 8, 2022 | Book Reviews
Dirty Talk with my Dad’s Best Friend by Flora Ferrari is a fairy tale. Love at “first sight”, forbidden love, figurative dragons to slay, and a happy resolution.
Hallie (19) is a freelance video editor. Her father, Graham, is a doctor, her mom, Janine, is a nurse, and her sister, Lila, to a psychology student. For the last 2 years, she has had a secret crush on Hayden, her dad’s best friend, and only her sister knows about it.
Hayden (45) is an independent news correspondent. For the last 2 years, he was overseas and spent the last few months a prisoner of terrorists. Upon his return, he is invited by his friend Graham, Hallie’s dad, to come and visit.
Although Hayden has known Hallie since she was a baby, he was never attracted to her until he sees her as an adult for the first time during his visit. Uncharacteristically, he found himself tongue-tied and lost for words as he gazed at her.
A late-night encounter in the kitchen for a glass of water between Hallie and Hayden quickly becomes heated as one look between them sends their passions soaring … but no sex. The following day, they resolve to tell Graham about what happened because they don’t want to stop (and want to go further) but fate has other plans as Graham announces that he was leaving for the West Coast that same day for a month-long work trip.
Out of respect for Graham, since they haven’t spoken to him yet, they decided on no more encounters … just on the phone. I think phone sex can be super hot if both parties are really into it. It could make the next physical encounter that much hotter.
Things get really hot between the two and for both, it is not just about sex. From the get-go, they are both secretly thinking of marriage and family. I thought that was really fast (and unrealistic) but that is not to say it cannot happen. Hallie is only 19 and has barely lived let alone dated, but from the moment she had a crush on Hayden, she was already dreaming of happily ever after with him.
For Hayden at 45, it is probably partially a biological clock thing, but how many men see a woman and decide that they want to get her pregnant from the first moment they see her? He even “saves his seed” by choosing not to masturbate because he says “all his seed belongs inside her”. rolls eyes
It is a feel-good story so if you are looking for light, fast reading, this fits the bill. Dirty Talk with My Dad’s Best Friend by Flora Ferrari is the 311th book of the “A Man Who Knows What He Wants” series. It will be available soon on Amazon.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 6, 2022 | Book Reviews
I confess that when I read the title of the book Grump Daddy Next Door by Ruby Emhart I wasn’t sure what I was going to get. Was this going to be a Daddy/Little fetish thing or was the male character an actual father? The story opens with nary a father in sight but as the story progresses it starts to become apparent.
At the beginning of the story, Kira, the female main character is trapped in a nightmare date and Max is the knight in shining armor who rescues her by pretending to be an old friend who wanted to catch up.
From the first moment their eyes met, they were instantly drawn to each. The pull was so strong that Kira didn’t think too hard about Max punching her v-card at the restaurant’s restroom. It was wild and exhilarating … too bad he had to be a jerk after.
Days pass and Kira applies for a job as an accountant and discovers that the company she is interviewing at is owned by Max! At the interview, Max can’t help but try to get a rise out of her, for his amusement. Long and short, he decides to hire her since she is the best qualified out of all the applicants … not just because the monster in his pants says so.
Working with him meant opportunities for them to have more sexual encounters and they agreed on no commitment and no labels despite some reservations. Fyi, in the story, there is no mention of Max having any tattoos so I don’t know how this yummy man ended up in the cover art.
So how did Max become a grump daddy who lived next door? Max is the guardian to his niece, Katie, whose parents are in jail for embezzling from his company. Her mom, Alexis, is about to be released from jail early and this stresses him out … this makes him grumpy to everyone, not just Kira. As for the next door part, it turns out that Kira lives in the apartment ABOVE his so … actually, he isn’t “next door” but definitely a neighbor.
Grump Daddy Next Door by Ruby Emhart is a quick read … it only took me 5 hours. The story flow is fast-paced, and unexpected scenes would make you go aha! I enjoyed it, and I think you will, too! You can find it on Amazon for just 0.99 starting Nov. 9, 2022!
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 5, 2022 | Book Reviews
Was the order for kitties or pussies? A wrong interpretation could mean a disaster! Erin is an erotic baker. No, it doesn’t mean she bakes in the nude, get your mind out of the gutter, lol! It means she is an artist and a baker and creates naughty (very lifelike) cakes. Nolan is a lawyer. He started out in family law but is now focused on corporate law.
They first meet when Nolan commissions Sticky Treats, Erin’s bakery, to make a stripper cake for a bachelor party. On the day of the party, Erin went to make some last-minute adjustments to the cake and got mistaken by Nolan for the stripper (who was running late) who then pushed her into the cake before it was rolled out to the party.
Long and short, she isn’t, and he realizes this too late when the agency sends him a message to let him know the stripper wasn’t showing up. In the end, he opens the cake to let her out and he ends up doing the strip tease himself at her dare! What a riot!
Both of them have psycho exes who are determined to ruin their lives by sabotaging their careers, reputations, and budding relationship. That alone would make anyone hesitate in getting romantically involved but cupid (figuratively) shot his arrows at our main characters. Add in the mix the family and friends on both sides who see their interaction and are convinced that he/she is “the one” for each other.
Mishap after mishap happens that it would seem the universe is against them getting together but somehow either Erin or Nolan is able to turn things around and they find themselves back in a good place.
I enjoyed reading The Sweet Spot by Monica Myers. The way it is written, I can easily see this book becoming a rom-com movie. There were some parts that I felt were a little slow but that can easily be adjusted in the screenplay. I hope this becomes a screenplay.
The Sweet Spot by Monica Myers is the first book in the Tasty Temptations series and will be available on Amazon on Nov. 6, 2022, for only 0.99. That’s pretty sweet!
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 4, 2022 | Book Reviews
Four Nights by Stephanie Brother is a love story. Autumn never imagined that a girl like her, an inexperienced virgin, could attract four men. She also never imagined herself attracted to or involved with more than one man. But I guess that’s just what happens to some special people at Four Points.
When Autumn’s roommate hires a stripper to “devirginize” her, this was so wrong … especially since she had no idea about it. But this bad judgment by her roommate led to her meeting and later becoming involved with four wonderful men.
Four very different men who are all somehow connected even before meeting Autumn:
- Garrett, Autumn’s co-worker and friend who she has had a secret crush on for a long time
- Trevor, the playful dancer/stripper from Club Red quickly puts her at ease with his quick wit and mischievous smile
- Adrian, sensitive and sinfully attractive, is also a dancer/stripper at Club Red
- and Duke, impressively imposing, the bouncer at Club Red, who makes Autumn feel safe and secure.
Four Nights by Stephanie Brother is a story of innocence and sexual exploration. I was in awe at how sensitive the men were to Autumn’s needs and each other. Garrett, who like Autumn, started this as a virgin, too, had hesitations, mostly because of societal expectations. Somehow, though, every experience with Autumn just felt right … even when their “explorations” into sex without intercourse were never alone. First with one other, then two, then three other men.
This is a reverse harem so none of the men are into each other … it is all four men worshipping one lucky woman … Autumn. As the story progresses all we feel is love, love, love.
This book made me smile. Perhaps because of Autumn’s innocence, the love scenes in Four Nights are not as “smutty” as in other reverse harem books. Even with 4 men, there isn’t ever that feeling of being overwhelmed but I am sure that Autumn was going through sensory overload.
You can get a copy of Four Nights by Stephanie Brother on Amazon. The Kindle version will be available on November 8, 2022, but you can already get a paperback copy now.
After reading this book you can read the bonus content here.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 2, 2022 | Book Reviews
Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy is a story I started reading on Goodnovel a few months ago when I was in the mood for something in the young adult/teenager category. I’ve never read any other story by Stardust Wendy so I was curious to see how well she writes.
The main character is Freya, born an Omega with dreams of attending a school just for Alphas. To achieve her goal she made a deal with a wizard who could temporarily make her seem like an Alpha without granting her the strength and characteristics of one. In return, she will do him a favor which he will reveal at a later time.
Meet the playboy Alpha, Silas Bloodmoon. He is the Alpha prince and the Alpha heir of her pack. He is hands down the most popular boy in school along with his friends Lucas and Adam. Everyone in school knows that Silas and Elena of the Crescent Moon pack are a couple.
Freya’s goal for entering the school was just one thing … to learn. She was not there to make friends or enemies and she definitely was not on the lookout for a boyfriend. Things don’t work out the way she planned when Silas starts to show interest in her and actively pursues her. For Silas, it started off as a game, a bet, but later he couldn’t help but be fascinated by her.
As a storyteller, I think that Stardust Wendy is good because she got me engaged and anxious for the next chapter to be released. As a writer, though, she needs help as her grammar and spelling are less than desirable – incorrect word usage, misphrased idiomatic expressions, and tenses (!), to name but a few.
For those of you who read my reviews, you would notice that I probably say that a lot! This is because many of the authors who write on reading apps 1) are most likely not native English speakers, 2) do not have editors who go over their chapters before publishing, 3) never took a course on the correct way to write a narrative story and are not familiar with Freytag’s pyramid.
But while I noted all the things that could be improved, I could still read on and enjoy the story. The only part of the story that I found dragging was Freya’s torture which ran for several chapters. I thought that was overkill.
I’m glad that I was patient with Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy because it is a wonderful story! I hope that she decides to get an editor (me!) and will publish this as a paperback or ebook and release it on Amazon and Applebooks soon.
In the meantime, you can read this book on Goodnovel.
Dirty Talk with my Dad’s Best Friend by Flora Ferrari is a fairy tale. Love at “first sight”, forbidden love, figurative dragons to slay, and a happy resolution.
I confess that when I read the title of the book Grump Daddy Next Door by Ruby Emhart I wasn’t sure what I was going to get. Was this going to be a Daddy/Little fetish thing or was the male character an actual father? The story opens with nary a father in sight but as the story progresses it starts to become apparent.
Was the order for kitties or pussies? A wrong interpretation could mean a disaster! Erin is an erotic baker. No, it doesn’t mean she bakes in the nude, get your mind out of the gutter, lol! It means she is an artist and a baker and creates naughty (very lifelike) cakes. Nolan is a lawyer. He started out in family law but is now focused on corporate law.
Four Nights by Stephanie Brother is a love story. Autumn never imagined that a girl like her, an inexperienced virgin, could attract four men. She also never imagined herself attracted to or involved with more than one man. But I guess that’s just what happens to some special people at Four Points.
Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy is a story I started reading on Goodnovel a few months ago when I was in the mood for something in the young adult/teenager category. I’ve never read any other story by Stardust Wendy so I was curious to see how well she writes.
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