by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 21, 2022 | Book Reviews
It is nearly Christmas I decided to give Shy Girls Can’t Date at Christmas by Milly Rose a try. This book is definitely targeted at a younger audience such as teenagers.
The story for me was confusing because it didn’t feel like the author had her thoughts together when she started writing. This is why outlining is essential. It takes several chapters to answer basic questions like … what happened to the neighborhood? How can the death of Ava’s mom have such a devastating effect on everyone who lived in their cul-de-sac that everyone (literally everyone!) seemed to cease functioning normally? Why is Beau’s mom upset with Ava? Why does Ava’s dad hate Beau? I don’t understand!
I don’t even think calling Ava shy is appropriate. Before her mom passed away she wasn’t so freaked out all the time. Being freaked out is not synonymous with being shy. If at all, the only time she really exhibited behavior that could be deemed shy is in the first two or three chapters.
After ten chapters we discover that Beau’s “acting out” started as a way to get his parents’ attention. How original! (sigh) And, apparently, four years later, even after he acknowledges this as truth, he still can’t help but continue to do it even though he says “it is useless”. How does that make sense? Also, he stopped being a bully when he was able to spend time with Ava.
Twenty chapters in and while a relationship develops between the two, I still don’t know why there is a stick up the parents’ collective butts. I think it is an important detail that will help explain and perhaps resolve parental issues in the book.
To be honest, I didn’t enjoy this book as much as I hoped I would since I love young love and Christmas stories. At best I would say it is okay. It’s on Amazon if you want to give it a try.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 13, 2022 | Book Reviews
I don’t normally do this but sometimes I have to make an exception. His Reject: The Alpha King’s Hybrid by Moon Flood is really good. I would go so far as to say it is a REALLY GOOD NOVEL. Kudos to the author! It is well-written and the pacing is fast. Are there grammatical or spelling issues? Yes, but thankfully not a lot!
I started reading this on Goodnovel because it was offered to me at 70% off and after reading the first chapter I decided to take the plunge and downloaded the rest of the chapters.
Carrot is the lead character. She is an Omega and at 20 still does not have a wolf. She discovers that she is mated to Noah, the psychopath Alpha of the Red Lake pack. She is an orphan and has been treated as a slave all her life so she assumed she would be rejected. Alas, he doesn’t reject her but he also does not acknowledge her … choosing to shag other she-wolves so that he could watch her writhe in pain. She rejects him but he does not accept it, instead, he imprisons her in the dungeon to prevent her escape.
With help, she manages to escape weeks later and inadvertently travels to the capital city where the Alpha King, Killian, lives. I won’t go into the details of how that happened so that you would read it.
To avoid pushing through with an arranged marriage, Killian decides to claim Carrot (now called Amethyst) as his mate, acting lovestruck and enamored in public. Afterward, they discuss and Killian convinces Amethyst that it is to her advantage that they pretend to be mates. Since she knows that Noah is her mate and she plans on seeking revenge against him and Red Lake for all the injustices done against her, she agreed.
His Reject: The Alpha King’s Hybrid by Moon Flood is still a work in progress and I quickly caught up with the latest chapters. Author Moon Flood, I do hope you update soon. If you would like to read this story you can find it on Goodnovel and on other reading apps.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 11, 2022 | Book Reviews
They say that no idea is truly original because everything we create is built on something someone else wrote or made which, in turn, was built on someone else’s idea, too. At times we even end up plagiarizing ourselves! That being said, I believe that, despite the formula, authors should infuse something in their story that will make it stand out, be different, and not easily be thought of as a copy of someone else’s work.
It sounds the same but not
When I started to read The Alpha’s Rejected Mate by JK Bartolome my immediate thought was that this was very similar to Alpha Atlas by Jane Doe without the bully squad of the Alpha to be.
Angel is quiet, shy, and overweight. She tends to wear baggy clothes and people assume it is because she has no sense of style. Consequently, many of her peers ridicule and bully her. In addition, her wolf, Slade, has not shown up yet so they think she is wolfless.
Gabriel is the soon-to-be Alpha. On the day he found out that Angel was his mate, he did not hesitate to reject her. Stupid, weakling Angel did not accept the rejection, she just walked away and decided to leave the pack.
Time passes and she returns as a warrior to train Gabriel’s pack to defend themselves. Does this sound familiar yet? She is no longer the fat, shy, and retiring girl they knew. She was now an unbeatable warrior.
While she was away Gabriel was busy humping every willing she-wolf and Angel suffered through it all. Upon her return he decides to stop all that and accept her as his mate, hoping she does not reject him. Pffft!
Go ahead and call me a grammar nazi
From page one, it is clear that English is not this author’s first language. I’d forgive it if I saw some effort to use a grammar and spellchecker. Sadly, it looks like we have another lazy author here who cannot be bothered to, at the very least, use the tools that come built-in with document software like Word or GoogleDocs. It is so prevalent that these authors think we will just forgive the awful grammar which leads to them not making an effort to fix it.
Be responsible
If doing so feels like more work for them then they should hire an editor or proofreader. Even I cannot claim to be perfect so I religiously check for grammar and spelling errors and sometimes, some still get left behind. The point here is TRYING because the reader can see when you try.
It’s always the same … messed up pronouns, tenses, etc. Sigh.
In addition, I have to add, that anyone who writes in an established genre should research the genre first. It is better to research and get it right than mess up big time and get called on it by a lot of people. Or … create their own world and mythology.
How old are you?
From the way it is written I can only assume that our author is young, or at least wrote it when he/she/they were younger. I gauge this from the juvenile behavior of the characters, and the very limited skill and technique writing in the love scenes (which speaks of inexperience) as the best that could be described is oral sex, and not even very descriptive at that.
He/she/they do not also seem to understand what happens when a female goes into heat. Wolves are like dogs when they go into heat … they will want to have sex RIGHT NOW with any male and every male nearby will have an almost uncontrollable urge to have sex with her. This isn’t fiction, that’s really how it is with canines.
In the standard mythos about werewolves, they react the same way as wolves. So, the fact that the author did not really describe this properly leads me to believe that the author is young and does not know this or … did not do his/her/their research.
To be fair, it is not a bad story. It just could be better. It doesn’t need massive plot changes. All it really needs is cleaning up at the very least. Do I hate it? No. Do I like it, meh … okay is the best I can give you. But just to give you perspective, I did finish it. There are only a little over 30 chapters so it isn’t difficult to read.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 9, 2022 | Book Reviews
Stories like The Wallflower and the Alpha’s by Addison Winters annoy me because it has a lot of potential but the author is lazy, inattentive, and uncaring. Let me list down the reasons why this author gets my goat.
Massive proofreading/editing issues
She does not edit her work or get a proofreader or editor to help her make her story better.
- She can’t make up her mind if she is “speaking” in the first or third person.
- She messes up her pronouns. Male pronouns are him, he, and his. Female pronouns are her, she, and hers.
- She messes up her tenses.
- She can’t keep track of her POV.
- She does not know how to use figures of speech correctly. She just uses them because she feels like it whether they are appropriate or not. Research first!
- An apostrophe is used to denote ownership, so the title of the book should be “The Wallflower and the Alphas” not “The Wallflower and the Alpha’s” which is the actual title. It is so wrong that my spellchecker keeps telling me to fix it.
Now, for those of you who have been reading my reviews, you know that I tend to be forgiving with spelling and grammar IF the story is good enough. What gets my goat is grammar and spellcheck are FREE! Word has it, GoogleDocs has it … there are even free apps available! Use any of them!
She doesn’t pay attention
And, like I said, this story has potential but needs a MAJOR REVAMP to be worth selling on Amazon (for 4.99 a pop!) and on Goodnovel for almost 3.5k coins. Other things this (I assume YOUNG) author needs to do:
- Know your proportions … two halves make a whole. Avery can’t be half-wolf, half-witch, and half-Veela … that is one “half” more than a whole person. To be precise you should have said PART wolf, witch, and Veela.
- Don’t get lost in the minutiae. We don’t need to know her entire “getting ready for school” routine from how she washes her hair, what body scrub he uses and why, applies makeup, applies deodorant and perfume, dries her hair, fixes her hair, walks naked to her room, chooses underwear, chooses clothes to wear, puts them on … and so on and so on. It’s unnecessary unless you were just after the word count.
- Keep track of where you are in the story! If you are confused, we are confused! Avery comes out of the shower of her ensuite in a towel, then Elijah and Jake come in and make out with her on the bed but she is suddenly in a dress. Then Avery is in a shed with Andrew (whoever that is) and walks away to go to the house then suddenly she is dry humping Elijah. What in the world?!? Make up your mind, are her clothes on or off? At one point she takes off her dress, and she is wearing it again, then you have her in a towel, then in a dress again.
- In love scenes, keep track of where everyone is … some of the positions you have them in is just not possible unless your participants are snakes or contortionists.
- Be aware of where your characters are supposed to be physically and mentally. You cannot have Avery scared of them one moment then suddenly okay with them eating her out at the back of the truck, and then scared to let them near her again wondering why they are looking at her “like that”.
- At the point where Elijah acknowledges that she is his mate and decides to win her over … why, oh, why are you still making him bully her? WTF is the logic in that? He just said he was going to stop doing that and would try to win her over then he trips her and embarrasses her in front of the entire school?!? Does that sound logical to you?
A very easy solution is to reread what you have written before writing the next chapter and then going from there.
Freytag’s pyramid
This is one of the reasons I felt the need to post about Freytag’s pyramid on my socials a while back. Anyone who wants to venture into writing with the intention of possibly making money out of it should care enough to make sure their audience enjoys the experience and to do that there has to be structure.
I am not ruling out non-linear storytelling. Non-linear can be fun! Case in point, Pulp Fiction … one of my favorite Quentin Tarantino movies. But even with non-linear stories, it still makes an effort to hit all the stars.
Bullying
I am not a fan of bully romances, although I have read a few. I try to keep an open mind and endeavor to understand the psyche of the characters to see why they are the way they are. Here are my thoughts:
- If the bully is an Alpha then he will not make a good alpha at all because he should be taking care of his pack members not making victims of them.
- Make her do his homework? OMG! So pathetic! Elijah is not just lazy, he is also stupid! And this is supposed to be their Alpha? I’d transfer to another pack.
- Big, burly boys stringing girls up a flagpole? Seriously? And everyone is just watching? How sick are the people in this school that they can just condone that? And where the fuck are the adults? What, not even a janitor in sight? Unbelievable!
- Avery’s mates bullied her for AT LEAST SIX YEARS which included physical, mental, and verbal abuse. Now that they all know that they are her mates they expect Avery to just forgive them … let bygones be bygones … because they will spend the rest of their lives making it up to her? Why did they pick on her in the first place? What did she do to them? NOTHING!
Ugh! I’m getting angry. I HATE BULLIES. And, honestly, considering how long they have been bullying her she should have either rejected them or at the very least made it more difficult for them to win her over. Her having a crush on them all this time DESPITE their bullying her leads me to think Avery seriously needs psychiatric help. I wish I could say it is masochism but, unfortunately, based on the author, she is always devastated and in tears when they bully her … so, why?!?
If you want to give this book a chance because there is actually a good story under all the junk you can find it on Goodnovel and other reading apps. If you want to “save money” and buy the book on Amazon, be warned that it comes in four parts at 4.99 each. The advantage of reading it on Amazon is you can return the book and ask for a refund. But you can only do that within a short period so read fast and if you love it, keep it. Otherwise, return it.
by Penny Angeles-Tan | Nov 2, 2022 | Book Reviews
Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy is a story I started reading on Goodnovel a few months ago when I was in the mood for something in the young adult/teenager category. I’ve never read any other story by Stardust Wendy so I was curious to see how well she writes.
The main character is Freya, born an Omega with dreams of attending a school just for Alphas. To achieve her goal she made a deal with a wizard who could temporarily make her seem like an Alpha without granting her the strength and characteristics of one. In return, she will do him a favor which he will reveal at a later time.
Meet the playboy Alpha, Silas Bloodmoon. He is the Alpha prince and the Alpha heir of her pack. He is hands down the most popular boy in school along with his friends Lucas and Adam. Everyone in school knows that Silas and Elena of the Crescent Moon pack are a couple.
Freya’s goal for entering the school was just one thing … to learn. She was not there to make friends or enemies and she definitely was not on the lookout for a boyfriend. Things don’t work out the way she planned when Silas starts to show interest in her and actively pursues her. For Silas, it started off as a game, a bet, but later he couldn’t help but be fascinated by her.
As a storyteller, I think that Stardust Wendy is good because she got me engaged and anxious for the next chapter to be released. As a writer, though, she needs help as her grammar and spelling are less than desirable – incorrect word usage, misphrased idiomatic expressions, and tenses (!), to name but a few.
For those of you who read my reviews, you would notice that I probably say that a lot! This is because many of the authors who write on reading apps 1) are most likely not native English speakers, 2) do not have editors who go over their chapters before publishing, 3) never took a course on the correct way to write a narrative story and are not familiar with Freytag’s pyramid.
But while I noted all the things that could be improved, I could still read on and enjoy the story. The only part of the story that I found dragging was Freya’s torture which ran for several chapters. I thought that was overkill.
I’m glad that I was patient with Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy because it is a wonderful story! I hope that she decides to get an editor (me!) and will publish this as a paperback or ebook and release it on Amazon and Applebooks soon.
In the meantime, you can read this book on Goodnovel.
I don’t normally do this but sometimes I have to make an exception. His Reject: The Alpha King’s Hybrid by Moon Flood is really good. I would go so far as to say it is a REALLY GOOD NOVEL. Kudos to the author! It is well-written and the pacing is fast. Are there grammatical or spelling issues? Yes, but thankfully not a lot!
When I started to read The Alpha’s Rejected Mate by JK Bartolome my immediate thought was that this was very similar to Alpha Atlas by Jane Doe without the bully squad of the Alpha to be.
From the way it is written I can only assume that our author is young, or at least wrote it when he/she/they were younger. I gauge this from the juvenile behavior of the characters, and the very limited skill and technique writing in the love scenes (which speaks of inexperience) as the best that could be described is oral sex, and not even very descriptive at that.
She does not edit her work or get a proofreader or editor to help her make her story better.
Taming the Playboy Alpha by Stardust Wendy is a story I started reading on Goodnovel a few months ago when I was in the mood for something in the young adult/teenager category. I’ve never read any other story by Stardust Wendy so I was curious to see how well she writes.
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